Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Spring Cleansing

I have not posted in awhile. Apparently, I have been too busy stuffing my face with sh**ty food and consuming alcohol like prohibition is right around the corner. My snuggest-fitting jeans, which had been hugging my booty in a comfortable and attractive manner, nearly squeezed the life out of me when I attempted to wear them yesterday. An hour into the day, I had to replace them with a carb-bloat-friendly pair, so that I could bend over without causing internal injury. My excuse:  a completely insane month that included: two weekends away, a St. Patty's day party (with a grease-filled recovery day), 5 days with out-of-town visitors who have a fondness for margaritas and snack foods, extra work stress (requiring apres-work scotch), and kids home all day for spring break (requiring all-day scotch).
My plan: detox and cleanse. I experienced similar fatness after the holiday season and embarked on a 3-day cleanse that was a bit too strict. No coffee, no solids foods. I was so cranky I was ready to punch someone, anyone in the face. I did, however, lose six pounds, five of which stayed away until above-described month of binging and drinking (and binge-drinking). A friend recommended Clean (Alejandro Junger), which is a little kinder- i.e. allows some solid foods (including meat!). Sadly, this Mr. Junger does not approve of coffee or booze. I do not plan to follow it to the letter, as I do not like strict rules, nor am I safe to drive on public roads without coffee in my system. I may be able to (mostly) refrain from alcohol, as there are no social events or planned stressful situations on the horizon.
Updates forthcoming. Hopefully, they will include reports of my tolerating said jeans for at least the better part of a day...

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